10 Things I learned in Paris

Things to know while traveling to Paris ...


#1.) I don't care how funny you were in your previous life, how witty or outrageous, but once your plane lands, your humor is no more. Your sarcasm will fall amiss on everyone you pass, even those who speak English. (Slayer is not a word taken lightly). If you are prone to telling elaborate stories with lots of hand gestures and facial expressions ... just don't. 

#2.) Cars will kill you. Whether on bike or foot, they will not stop. If you are in their way, you will die. 

#3.) Tennis shoes with glamorous outfits IS indeed a fasion these days in Paris. (Michele, you were right you little fashionista). Apparently wearing flashy tennis shoes with million doallar suits and designer label dresses says, "Look, I can afford to wear this, but I'm still chill." Looks pretty asinine to me but hey, I'm not French. Nor do I live in one of the fashion capitals of the world, so what do I know. 

#4.) Why May is the best month to be a Parisian: Every Thursday is a holiday and every day after a holiday, employees are not allowed to work. Four day weekends and three day work weeks for a month? Bring it on May. 

#5.) Forget the Louvre. If you go to only one museum, make sure it is the Musee de' L'Orangerie. Monet's rooms of Water Lillies will leave you breathless and dazed when you leave as if you awoke from a dream. Make sure you sit in there for at least 20 minutes. Time literally stops. 

#6.) If you don't understand the Metro and don't have a French guide, don't get on. Just don't. 

#7.) Do not go out the night before your train leaves. Going out in Paris means leaving your house at 1:30 am and getting back with the sun at 7 am. You will miss your train. Even if it is at 3:30 pm.

#8.) Keep friends who don't let you get on the back of mopeds at 5 am. 

#9.) Don't buy wine at restaurants. You will find out (most likely on your last day) that you can get really good bottles of wine at the store for 2 - 5 euros instead of 18. 

#10.) Bring proper shoes to France that will last longer than 5 days. Or a scrub brush to remove the black stains from your feet if you don't.