"And in this moment, we are Infinite"


In an especially joyful and light mood, I wandered down to the beach tonight with a dance in my every step. I felt like I could sing to every passerby, like a Disney princess movie, and it would all just be normal. The sun was setting magnificently and the surfers were glistening in it's remaining rays. The water had been drug back out and the beach stretched for miles. 

Of course, the most beautiful and awe-inspiring moments always present themselves when the devices with which to capture them are all left behind. My phone, camera, even my journal were all in my room. It was just me and the world and this would just have to remain encapsulated in my ever fragile mind.

I got to thinking then about just how fragile the mind is. The one fluctuating and not dependant thing that holds all of these beautiful untouched moments. A death, an accident, a brain injury, memory loss, old age ... it can all just disappear. Gone. 

So why wouldn't we share them all? Get them on paper. Write them down. Paint them. Sing them. Preserve them. And then I thought about why we do. 

I think that what most people fear more than anything, more than death, is being obsolete after their minds or bodies are gone. They want or need others to know what they saw, what they did, what they remember and to be witness to their lives. Because it makes it more real in a way. Although not really, but in our human smallness, it gives us something more permanent, something that will live on after us, if only in one other person's memory. It's a testimony that we have lived. It's why we create, build and share. Why we marry, procreate, and expand. It's our only shot at something infinite; the only record of our existance, proof that we were here. 

We want to touch this world and leave a mark - one that remains long after we do. It's why some people spend their whole lives protecting and building this earth so that it can serve future generations. It's even why we carve our names as lovers in trees, or bury time capsules. Because those signs- both of them- might be seen long after we are. And if we really boil it all down, I think even the greatest acts of selflessness in this realm, can be drawn back to this fear of human smallness. Of being forgotten. Being obsolete. Not impacting anyone or anything. And I think that's okay. It doesn't mean we are selfish. It keeps us acting, creating, helping, inspring; it's what separates us from any other species. We are the only ones aware of our mortality and with that, we desperately try to attribute part of that into some form of immortality. I recognize that there will always be those who deem this selfish or hopeless, but personally, I think it's beautiful.